Saturday, 19 July 2008

Watership Dave

Something (and hopefully not someone) left us a present on our doorstep Wednesday morning. A dead rabbit. And it wasn't any rabbit, it was a baby rabbit. A cute little bunny, with ants crawling all over it's face and exploring it's cute bunny ears. Being the man I let Jen go to work and said I'd deal with it. What a guy.

Problem was, when I went to pick it up it kicked. Then it moved its head up and made some horrible noise. It wasn't a dead rabbit, but rather a dying rabbit. Bugger. I know that the right thing to do was to put it out of it's misery. I have quite vivid memories of my dad lobbing the head off a suffering bird with a spade and thinking nothing of it. Thing is, although sometimes it's feel like it, i'm not my dad. Yeah, I saw bits of wood on a Sunday, wire light fittings and drive a Skoda (don't laugh), but i'm still not my dad. So I did what any liberal wimp would do, re-housed it in a shoe box with food and water and spent half an hour picking off the ants from it's dying body so it would have some dignity in death. It was dead when I got back from work 8 hours later.

Despite leaving the rabbit to die an arduous and painful death, at least it had some dignity. I think that says something profound about the human condition, i'm just not mature enough to know what. After all, I'm not my dad.

Got satnav yesterday and then spent half an hour finding out how to get to work (I knew this already), how to get to mum and dad's house (I knew this already) and where the nearest petrol station was (I knew this already). Money well spent.

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Dr Who & The Venetian Ball

That title is a bit misleading - I've been to a Venetian ball this weekend and also got frustrated by Dr Who. That said, Dr Who at a Venetian Ball sounds like the sort of weak episode Mr R. T. Davis might come up with. Anyway...

I went to a ball this weekend. I say 'ball', it was more of a disco/piss up in a fancy building. It was weird dressing up in full tuxedo. I'm not someone who really cares about how I look and frankly I hate the idea of drawing any attention to myself and nothing draws attention to yourself more then walking through Northampton Town centre wearing a spangly mask and tuxedo. That said, once you put a tux on you feel pretty cool even if your mask makes you feel like an extra from Eyes Wide Shut. Also, what's the point of a Cumberbund (or Cumberland as Jen mistakenly called it)? Answers on a comment please!

Here's me and Jen (I'm on the left, the masks can make things confusing)

On to the good doctor (not to be confused with the other good doctor). Last week's cliffhanger was genius. The episode itself was typically self referential in an increasingly ludicrous manner (and don't get me started on the sloppy holocaust line) but it redeemed itself with one of the best WTF? endings ever.

The last episode of the season and the resolution of last week's cliffhanger was pretty much a perfect demonstration of the the moments of brilliance marred by poor writing that has blighted most of the last 4 seasons of Who (Ignoring of course anything written by the new bloke in charge, Steven Moffat).

The Good (to quote Dr Dan) - RTD doesn't shy away from big scale. Even though the effects may not be up to it the episode definitely felt epic. It's complete tosh of course, but enjoyable tosh. RTD has always been great on the emotional angle, with a hugely satisfying payoff on the Rose & Doctor story line. The Dr is also as compelling as always due to the snappy dialogue brilliantly delivered by Tennant, who I hope hangs around for at least one more season. Also, Davros (despite his voice and dialogue being a carbon copy of The Emperor, even down to the 'feel the anger' bollocks) looked pretty damn scary and hopefully freaked out alot of kids. Finally, Catherine Tate appears to be as good as killed off, as we're promised she will spontaneously combust if she ever remembers her time with the doctor. yay!

The Bad. I think the resolution to the cliff hanger was the perfect example of what's been wrong with the last three seasons of Who. Any notion of genuine threat is completely undermined by the inevitable nonsensical get out - be it the dues ex solution of season 3 (because as soon as you can undo anything it really doesn't matter what happens), the generic sonic screwdriver solution or, as with the cliff hanger resolution, a quickly spoken scientific explanation by the doctor said so quick no one will try to analyse it and realise why it makes absolutely no sense. This happened alot in last nights episode, my particular favorite was Donna defeating the Darleks by flicking a switch. Seriously? Every time a weak solution is used to get out of a problem it really closes a lot of doors for future episodes and really does ruin any potential suspense.

Anyway, I'm moaning quite a lot and i'm sure no one cares. I have really enjoyed the last 4 seasons of who despite my above moans. Huge credit has to be given to RTD for rebooting new life into Dr Who, giving us two above par Doctors and making sci-fi in a Saturday evening slot work. I'm proper excited about the new series in 2010, led by Steven Moffatt, by far the most consistent Dr Who writer of the last 4 series (see 'Blink').

Thursday, 3 July 2008

Incurring the wrath of God (but which one? read to find out...)

There's been a bit of a split in the Anglican Church recently, as the more hardline christians have started moaning about how the church is becoming too liberal. And by liberal they are referring to increasing compassion for fellow humans regardless of their sex or sexuality. Anyway, these nutters (sorry, hardline christians) are planning to "reassert the authority of the Bible". This reminded me of a quote I spotted on slashfilm from the website for the upcoming Bill Maher film Religulous. It was the following

If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property. (Exodus 21:20-21)

Seems reasonable to me, and this is what the hardliners are fighting for. To provide a quick overview of fundamental christianity, heres some more choice quotes courtesy of Scary Bible Quotes. You can verify them at

If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:9)

Mother fucker! That's a bit harsh

If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10)

OK so if you want to sleep with someones wife, just make sure they live more than one house away

If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found (What happened to innocent till proven guilty?), she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. (Deuteronomy 22:20-1)

Right, so don't sleep with your neighbours wife and if you're a women only have sex anywhere other than Israel

And my favorite...

For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death (Exodus, 35:2)

Still, double time is worth the risk