Thursday 3 July 2008

Incurring the wrath of God (but which one? read to find out...)

There's been a bit of a split in the Anglican Church recently, as the more hardline christians have started moaning about how the church is becoming too liberal. And by liberal they are referring to increasing compassion for fellow humans regardless of their sex or sexuality. Anyway, these nutters (sorry, hardline christians) are planning to "reassert the authority of the Bible". This reminded me of a quote I spotted on slashfilm from the website for the upcoming Bill Maher film Religulous. It was the following

If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property. (Exodus 21:20-21)

Seems reasonable to me, and this is what the hardliners are fighting for. To provide a quick overview of fundamental christianity, heres some more choice quotes courtesy of Scary Bible Quotes. You can verify them at biblegateway.com.

If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:9)

Mother fucker! That's a bit harsh

If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10)

OK so if you want to sleep with someones wife, just make sure they live more than one house away

If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found (What happened to innocent till proven guilty?), she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. (Deuteronomy 22:20-1)

Right, so don't sleep with your neighbours wife and if you're a women only have sex anywhere other than Israel

And my favorite...

For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death (Exodus, 35:2)

Still, double time is worth the risk

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