Video Nasty #11: Lisa, Lisa AKA Axe

Synopsis: After a bit of the old ultra-violence, three inept criminals are on the lam. Deciding to get off the road, they forcefully take refuge in an isolated country house occupied by Lisa and her incapacitated Grandfather. It looks like the jerks may of chosen the wrong 13 year old to mess with.

Lisa, Lisa is a dark but mostly benign little film. In fact, given its 65 minute runtime it's more like a TV movie, or an episode of Tales of the Unexpected. From what I've read it was made on a miniscule budget to appease drive-in distributors, hence the short runtime. Given that, I think it's quite an achievement. Not that I won't rip into it...


The film open with our bungling criminals waiting in a flat for the cross-dressing owner to return. In this short period the film establishes the three main character's traits with broad strokes. Steel is pure evil, worse than Sauron, Hitler and the dark lord himself, Robert Kilroy Silk. He's so evil, you have to wonder how he's made it this far in life without stabbing himself in the face for making eye contact in the mirror. Lomax is a cigar smoking rotund idiot who rubs his leg incessantly when he's horny, extinguishing both the cross-dresser's life and cigar in one blow by jamming it down the victim's throat. Finally there's Billy, the soft spoken good boy gone bad whos heart's not really in it. I call him the Honey Monster, as he has more hair on his face than skin. After the initial murder the criminals go on the run and in a slightly tarantino-esque scene torment a girl in the local mini-mart, making her strip and take part in a Wlliam Tell reenactment, bow replaced with gun.

Lisa looks angelic but is clearly troubled. She lives to care for her paralysed grandfather, collecting eggs, killing chickens and constantly making tomato soup, although there's some implication that the rich red colour may not just be from tomatoes. Her grandfather sits in his chair all day, happily watching static on the television. When the criminals arrive and start taking liberties (two try to rape her) Lisa retaliates and using her apparent super-human strength hides the bodies in inexplicable places, including the chimney.


Despite the low budget aesthetics, there was clearly a lot of effort put into the soundtrack. There are recurring themes such as the bad guy's percussion shuffle, and the scenes between Lisa and her Grandfather are scored by probably the only Stlyophone opus ever written. The sound is particularly crummy, dialog often barely audible or badly dubbed. Despite this, the sound effects used in fight scenes have a particular charm, every punch accentuated by a huge crash, thwack or thud, like a Hannah Barbara cartoon with blood.

The worst thing about the film has to be the editing. In the opening scene there were 55 dialog-free quick cuts between the criminal's faces and the door the victim was about to walk through, presumably to build tension. The final frenetic rate of the cuts had me literally laughing out loud.

Lisa, Lisa has to be praised for its achievement on a miniscule budget, and does provide a satisfyingly dark ending. Despite its placement on the DPP list it has little to offer in the way of gore or shock. I'm not watching the film again but if you fancy it you can pick it up as part of Poundland's hardgore series. I shit you not.