Synopsis: After a child kidnapping goes wrong two criminals venture in to the jungle to lay low. After being raped by one of the kidnappers a women informs the child's parents of the criminal's location, leading to a deadly chase through cannibal country.
Terreur Cannibale is made by filmmakers with so little respect for their audience that they think its ok to make up the script as they go along. Therefore, in the spirit of not caring about plot, structure, entertainment value or quality, I've decided to use my unedited viewing notes as a review...
Opens with upbeat music, sounds like La Bamba. Dubbed a little girl with a grown woman's voice! Mouths not even moving when dubbing. At least dub using voices that match the face! Decide to hide in an indian forest. No reason to run away but do anyway. Dubbing just shows that no one gives a shit about this film, quick cash grab. Border guard seduced by the plainest most unremarkable brunette. 'That's what I call a nice piece'. Obligatory stock wildlife footage. 20 cannibals next to the road. Cannibals clearly westerners. Is that offensive? Main cannibal wearing a wig. Dancing around a tiny fire. Cannibals probably called Hank and Bob, directors friends, taking a break from trucking. Footage eating innards playing ad nauseum. Nudity. Camera doesn't know what to look at. Women clearly not tied up properly. Oh, he's a rapist now? Miming guitar playing. Knocking out epic solo whilst he's playing the chords to Wild Thing. House owner goes away for two days, as soon as his wife is raped he makes it back 'sooner than I thought' (20 minutes). She didn't seem to mind being raped, has a dance party with rapist. Showing pants. Five second shot clearly a photo of one of the actors. ugh. Man ripped open by cannibals. Cannibal shot dead. Editor desperately trying to make a film out of this incongruous mess. Camera work is a mess. A practical master class in shitty film making. Cannibals are skinny white guys with canes making weird noises at each other, adorned with Fisher Price face paint. Plastic skull on sticks. Ironic that a cannibal film is so bad I want to gnaw on my arm. No women in tribe. Oh, there's one! Bullshit rituals, all they do is dance around making noises, must get boring. Man shot. And another. This jungle has mowed grass? One cannibal wearing bermuda shorts. Really dull. 15 minutes of stalking through woods. 10 minutes of dancing around, nothing happens. 5 minutes of yanking on innards. Shit shit shit.
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